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Showing posts with label menopause. Show all posts
Showing posts with label menopause. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Guest Blogger: Lauren Dance - Heading South


Heading South

by Lauren Dance (Founder of the The Grey Beaver Club)

 

I love to travel. It has become a very expensive addiction, really. My husband and I look forward with great anticipation to every opportunity we get to head south to those indescribable blue waters where the scuba boat awaits. The salty wind, the coral reefs, and the beautiful peace that comes from being somewhere completely different from normal is probably the reason for the addiction. Recently, I was telling a friend that we were thinking of heading south to Cozumel soon for a vacation, and she sighed heavily and asked if she could come along in my suitcase.  

It got me to thinking about the phrase “heading south”, and the positive and negative connotations associated therein. 

Birds fly south for winter, and so do many people. Heading south for a vacation almost always means someplace warmer and much more exotic, an escape from ordinary life.  

Stock that has a sudden decrease in value is said to have headed south. So, what does that mean when parts of my body are spiraling downward at a rate I have no control over? Does that mean that I have decreased in value as well? Hmmmmm….. 

As women, we are bombarded through the media that perky and perfect are the norm, and if our once “perky parts” are now resting on the top of our bellies, there must be something wrong. I will resist this way of thinking. Just as I have always considered the stretch marks from my children badges of honor, I will support all my sagging with positive remarks in front of the mirror and a really great bra. 

If you’ve ever seen an older woman with really great breasts (that are REAL), albeit they are probably a bit lower on her chest than they were in her twenties, there is something very voluptuous and sexy about the way her body looks. And by the way, I don’t think there is anything wrong with telling a woman that she looks great. In fact, I think as womankind, it is our duty to make each other feel beautiful, because the media certainly isn’t going to pat us on the back and say, “Way to breastfeed three children! Wow! Those boobs rolled up into your bra look FABULOUS now!” 

If we all began to look at our bodies heading south the same way we looked at a vacation to Cozumel, I’m sure we as a collective group of women could probably figure out how to reverse the law of gravity, that’s how much extra time our brains would have to concentrate on other matters!  

Let us each find that beautiful peace that comes from being somewhere totally different than we have ever been, and be happy and content with whatever direction we are headed. 

“I look forward to being older, when what you look like becomes less and less an issue and what you are is the point.”--Susan Sarandon 
 



Lauren Dance is the owner of The Gray Beaver Club, 

an online retail store that sells fabulous gifts for 

friends over forty. She is very passionate about 

finding humor in the aging process, and feels strongly 

that surrounding yourself with great friends is the best 

way to happily navigate yourself through this crazy 

journey we call life!

Visit www.thegraybeaverclub.com to purchase gifts that are actually funny!  


Welcome to The Gray Beaver Club….one year closer to dyeing… 



Thursday, November 20, 2008

On The Humorous Side: The Hot Flash Club

Welcome to the Hot Flash Club!

Whether you like it or not...this is the beginning of the rest of your life and it will be ushered in on a heat wave...it's too bad it couldn't happen on the beaches of Maui or the Bahamas...reality decided to have it happen across the landscape of your face, neck and body...OH, JOY!!! Isn't middle-age an adventure?!!!

Prepare yourself to coordinate your wardrobe with your coloring from now on...RED is going to be your enemy for the near term! Make sure you don't wear all red, because when you have a hot flash your clothes and skin will blend together...you'll look like a red hot chili pepper and I don't mean you will look like a member of the band with the same name...Oh…you'll look hot, but not sexy...hot...you'll be burning red hot all over...and there will be nothing chilly about you...your new nickname will be Pepper.

Don't worry though you'll learn how to do the newest mid-life dance craze...The Hot Flash...it is a striptease of sorts...there is nothing sexy about it...when you are finished you are dripping with sweat, standing naked in front of a fan and God help the man that wants to touch you after your performance! Your response to this will be: "You're kidding me...Right?!"

Your newest friend, who is replacing your old "friend" is full of as many surprises...but this time you will discover places that you never knew could sweat...new places that have aches and pains...but here is the bonus...you won't remember why...it's kind of like when you gave birth...all the pain of labor...you cursed your husband for putting through it…but afterward you don't remember any of it...so stupid you...you, do it again...then, you remember...you curse your husband...then forget again. Oh...yeah...you start to ramble… a lot because you can't remember your point. Yes, it affects your brain...the few brain cells you have left.

And the grand prize for entering into the Hot Flash Era is (drum roll, please!)

You will never have to worry about wearing white pants ever again!

Welcome...to Mid-Life...embrace the "hot"...and whatever you do... don't sweat the small stuff...it will be over in a flash!


Amy L. Harden Copyright 2008

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