Mars and Venus Collide...again.

Wife takes seriously ill husband to doctor.

Doc to wife:

 "Give him healthy breakfast daily...

Be pleasant & in good mood.

Cook tasty dinner & don't discuss your problems with him.

Let him watching tv and don't burden him with house work.

Don't demand new clothes or shoes.

Make love as often as he wishes the way he likes it.

If you do this for one year, your husband will be OK."

On way home, husband asks wife: "What did doctor say?"

Wife: "Dr. says you will die very soon..." (unknown author)

ROFL

  

On the Flip-side:

Husband takes seriously ill W to doctor:

Doctor to husband:

"Give her a healthy breakfast every morning.

Be in a pleasant mood.

Appreciate the tasty meals she cooks and LISTEN don't fix her problems...encourage her to explore her talents and gifts.

Don't bury yourself in your computer, TV or iPhone.

Compliment and NOTICE the things she is doing for you and family.

Realize that taking care of children and a home is work too and she may be tired. SEX is NOT on the top of her list. But a bubble bath, nap, taking care of the kids or cleaning the dirty kitchen might get her in the mood more often. 

(one time doesn't count)

If you do this for one year your wife will be okay."

On the way home, wife asks husband: "What did the doctor say?"

Husband: "Dr. says you will die very soon."

Wife: "Yeah I know...I was lucky you noticed anything was wrong and brought me to him...but, what did he say?" (ME)

WE both (men and women) need love and nurturing...to be listened to and appreciated.

The Final Rose that Just Won't Die!

Just when I thought I had seen the last of Courtney Robertson from The Bachelor, she shows up in my mail promising me deals at Stein Mart!

Courtney Robertson in recent Stein Mart Ad

This arrival of postal paper garbage only affirms my theory that her appearance on the show was primarily promotion, to get her on magazine covers and lots of visibility for her modeling career!


But please...after Omarosa Of Celebrity Apprentice fame...Courtney may be the most hated reality star contestant since and like Omarosa, she is a horrible gift that keeps on giving! 


Will this gal ever go away?!


I mean few people were convinced she was genuine during the show...Viewers tweeted and Face-booked about how Ben should give her the boot every week and then...sure as shootin' Courtney got a rose and then gloatted off camera.  "Winning!" 


Here is my theory...hypothetical...of course! 

Courtney was picked for the show in the first place because...

CyberHotFlash: After the Blog Talk Radio Show - Internet Addiction and Dangers

Wake- up America!

Denial seems to be the number one past time of Americans today...especially the women of the United States! Not only do many women deny that they are in Mid-life Crisis…they deny that they could ever become addicted to the Internet, WHICH they use as a tool in the Crisis itself! Let’s not forget the complete denial about being victimized by a predator…OH! NO! Heaven Forbid!

Last week I posted an article on several women’s social networking sites on Internet Addiction and Mid-life Women which was met with such surprise and amazement that I would even suggest that women could or would allow themselves to become addicted to the internet. The shock was followed by complete denial of the problem existing to the degree that I had stated through research, which I received from Michael Shelby, one of the top experts and authorities on Internet/Virtual addiction in our country. These women could accept the fact that women could over-do their activity at women's social networks or Facebook...but the fact that I was suggesting that there is a secret community created just for married women who wanted to cheat was completely beyond these women’s comprehension! Many women couldn’t fathom the idea that there are predators on Facebook, My Space, Twitter, AIM or SKYPE!

When H Les Brown, Michael Shelby and I first started to discuss the topic of MidLife Matters radio show interview, we had no idea that the Craig’s List Killer would be caught and prove to be the most innocent looking of men OR that CNN/Parent’s Magazine would be publishing an article about how mother’s on the internet were neglecting their children due to their Internet activity. The reason behind my wanting to discuss this topic was because in the past six months, five of the husbands who had joined my internet forum on Women in MLC (Mid Life Crisis) were directly attributing the breakdown of their marriages to Internet activity or on-line affairs….which had then moved into actual physical affairs or addictive behaviors that led to their wives losing their high level jobs.

Less than a year ago at my forum, we were not necessarily concerned about a woman’s internet activity other than IF she had a profile at one or more of the many singles dating sites or at one of the High School reunion sites. Many women in MLC will create a profile at these sites to test the waters to see if anyone thinks that they are still attractive, personable, sexy or not. Early on these women are looking for an innocent “self-esteem massage” or a re-connect with an old boyfriend. Why? Most women in MLC are lacking in their ability to think clearly, wanting to escape the lives that they think is dragging them down…wanting a fantasy…their boundaries are blurred or non-existent…they are caught up in their roles as wives, mothers and caretakers…they have lost the woman of long ago before these roles sucked the life out of them. Women in MLC are on a quest…a mission of sorts to find who they are in the grand scheme of life…they dip in to the past…they reach out to a stranger…they convince themselves that it is safe and innocent. They are in their own homes…it is just on the computer…it is harmless!

Some women are not necessarily looking for the connection…it just happens! All it takes is a few men liking, winking at or tagging their profile picture or befriending them with a “looking for attention” phishing e-mail or wall post…or even the innocent Facebook/AIM/Google/SKYPE Pop-up Chat window saying “Hey, How are you?”. Before these women know it, they are telling a male stranger their whole life story and the guy is giving them the “self-esteem massage” that a woman didn’t even know they were really looking for…eventually becoming sexual and even asking for a meet-up.

Danger! Danger! Will Robinson!

The Craig’s List Killer should prove to every woman, whether addicted or not, they should be very careful about who they befriend, chat or e-mail. Please don’t come back with “I am not advertising erotic massage with like the girl that was killed.”…YOU are advertising something…You are advertising that you are needy and you have your guard down…you are willing to take a risk on someone or something that you know nothing about. The rules we set for our children about talking with strangers over the internet go for the women of the world also.

What makes a woman think that there isn’t a predator out there looking for them also?

What makes a woman think that that gorgeous guy with the six-pack abs and tan is real and out chatting up all the ladies on the web and if he is…what makes them think that the guy isn’t a player, user, and a gigolo?

Remember, “Looking for Mr. Goodbar”?

Well, Mr. Goodbar has moved to the web and he isn’t Richard Gere!

He’s a dumpy 37 year old guy, who lives in his mother’s basement playing video/internet games all day because he lost his job at WalMart six months ago…or even a married man with four kids, a wife, house, job and car who’s out for the same escape that you are….OR…he could be someone like the Craig’s List Killer, but he is not looking for a massage or money!

Now, at this point I would like to bring up a comment by one woman after my first article on this topic…the woman said I was generalizing on the topic…and maybe in that article I was…because I was introducing the topic and how I dealt with it at my forum. I was testing the waters and using the article as a promotion for the BTR interview that was coming up. The article was primarily written for the men of women in MLC, yet reworked so women could benefit from the information. I felt it was a topic that women should contemplate, consider…be aware of and know that they are not immune to the dangers of the Internet or the fact that they too could become addicted. I still feel strongly about the subject and I hope continue to write and research on it.

All I ask is… Please don’t deny the existence of Internet Addiction and dangers…that the women who are on the internet take note of the warning here…it could save you a lot of struggle, pain, hurt …it may save your marriage, your family and children…it may even save your life!


";

Guest Blogger: Bobbie Hinman: You Are Never Too Old To Follow Your Dreams

You Are Never Too Old To Follow Your Dreams

By Bobbie Hinman

What do you mean, “You’re too old to start a publishing company!”?

Sixty-three isn’t old!

In fact, my years of life experience have finally given me the knowledge (and admittedly, the guts) to do something that I have always wanted to do – write children’s books. I wrote several small books in college and thus began my love of children’s literature. I didn’t have time to do it right after college. I was too busy teaching and putting my husband through school. I didn’t have time to do it while I was raising a family. I always put their needs first, knowing that my time would come. And this is just the right time.

My ideas for a series of fairy books grew out of the need to explain to my ten precious grandchildren the answer to some of the universal mysteries of life, such as “How did my hair get so tangled while I was asleep?” and “Whatever happened to my other sock?” I could have submitted my ideas to other publishers and waited for the rejection letters to roll in. No, I wasn’t being overly pessimistic. It’s just a known fact in the book world that a number of rejection letters almost always precede that special acceptance letter. At 63, I didn’t want to waste any time. I decided to form my own publishing company. My other motive for going this route in place of traditional publishing was that I wanted to retain control of all of the decisions about artwork, design, and all the other headache-producing decisions. I wanted excitement, work and challenges.

My children are grown and it has become increasingly important to me to leave them a legacy, one that isn’t measured in dollars and cents, one that will leave them something that they, in turn, can leave to their children.

   I have returned to my educational roots, started my own publishing company, and have released two children’s books. The Knot Fairy explains one of the universal mysteries of life – “How did my hair get so tangled while I was sleeping?” The Sock Fairy reveals the answers behind the dilemma of missing socks. Soon, my third book, The Belly Button Fairy will be released. In just a few short years, my books have won a total of eleven children’s book awards. But the real award is seeing the pride in my grandchildren’s eyes and knowing that this legacy will live on, and that I have taught them two valuable lessons in life:

(1) you can do whatever you want if you just work hard and never give up; and

(2) It’s never too late to follow your dreams.

Visit Bobbie Hinman at:

http://bestfairybooks.com

http://bobbiehinman.blogspot.com

On The Humorous Side: The Hot Flash Club

Welcome to the Hot Flash Club!

Whether you like it or not...this is the beginning of the rest of your life and it will be ushered in on a heat wave...it's too bad it couldn't happen on the beaches of Maui or the Bahamas...reality decided to have it happen across the landscape of your face, neck and body...OH, JOY!!! Isn't middle-age an adventure?!!!

Prepare yourself to coordinate your wardrobe with your coloring from now on...RED is going to be your enemy for the near term! Make sure you don't wear all red, because when you have a hot flash your clothes and skin will blend together...you'll look like a red hot chili pepper and I don't mean you will look like a member of the band with the same name...Oh…you'll look hot, but not sexy...hot...you'll be burning red hot all over...and there will be nothing chilly about you...your new nickname will be Pepper.

Don't worry though you'll learn how to do the newest mid-life dance craze...The Hot Flash...it is a striptease of sorts...there is nothing sexy about it...when you are finished you are dripping with sweat, standing naked in front of a fan and God help the man that wants to touch you after your performance! Your response to this will be: "You're kidding me...Right?!"

Your newest friend, who is replacing your old "friend" is full of as many surprises...but this time you will discover places that you never knew could sweat...new places that have aches and pains...but here is the bonus...you won't remember why...it's kind of like when you gave birth...all the pain of labor...you cursed your husband for putting through it…but afterward you don't remember any of it...so stupid you...you, do it again...then, you remember...you curse your husband...then forget again. Oh...yeah...you start to ramble… a lot because you can't remember your point. Yes, it affects your brain...the few brain cells you have left.

And the grand prize for entering into the Hot Flash Era is (drum roll, please!)

You will never have to worry about wearing white pants ever again!

Welcome...to Mid-Life...embrace the "hot"...and whatever you do... don't sweat the small stuff...it will be over in a flash!

Amy L. Harden Copyright 2008

A Letter to Dorothy on The Yellow Brick Road

Letter was written on Facebook by Devon Capman

(To women of Menopause who feel they are over the rainbow in support of:
Author/Speaker/ Coach/Admitted Mid-life Crazy Amy L. Harden - Thank you Amy)

Dear Dorothy,
What a wonderful work you are doing there "over the rainbow". I hope the blue bird I acquired delivers this note properly in the right spirit, and your heart receives it in the light of those who love you at home.

While there is "no place like home", we are praying for your efforts there that you would save as many as you can, to help them get home too.
What a precious gift it is to reach out and help those who think they may need a brain, when all they actually need a little direction (and maybe some meds - lol) and a flow of encouraging words.

Having the heart to love the right things takes courage. It seems with all the elements involved that you are facing numerous adverse adventures and trials every moment you are there.

By all means "Do" pay attention to what is behind the curtain when the time comes and share with your travelers that they have most of what they need already, though it will be tested. That's where your character should shine and mature as you go through that valley of experience.

Be aware, of course, the wicked witch will use many a romantic “Munchkin” or mean and angry "Monkeys" to take advantage of your disorientation.

We, too, have learned to be so thankful, for everything we are hoping for in you, and miss you immensely. You are a very important part of us. Please remember this.

Don’t dance too much with the scare crow and forget your focus, but DO have some fun.
Don’t let the Tin man, in sharing his heartache, keep you from helping him, find his way. (Your purpose for being there)
Don’t let the Lion keep you from facing the witch and the trials and trouble she sends your way. You must defeat her with what you have, because it is your only hope of getting home.

Remember the witch is feels the pressure of the urgency of time as a heavy weight upon her so she will lie at every turn to keep you there. Your feet must stay on the proper path without straying. The flying monkeys are just there to scare you. Remember us back here praying for you and draw from that strength. This is why you need those slippers of His peace to lead you home. (let you feet be shod in the peace of the gospel... remember?)

Do hurry, we love you so. Rescue as many as you can, for there is no place like home. We feel empty and incomplete without you. Fight that good fight of faith.

Your loving family,
Uncle Henry, Kansas

PS The wizard apologizes for the mishap of leaving without you. He has helped us in understanding what trouble you are in. Looking for your safe arrival. Come home soon.
Also Hi from your Auntie Em, and Hunk, Zeke, Hickory, and Professor Marvel

Written by Devon Capman 8-4-2008
To women of Menopause who feel they are over the rainbow in support of:
Author/Speaker/ Coach/Admitted Mid-life Crazy Amy L. Harden

Postcard from The Yellow Brick Road

Dear Uncle Henry:

Never thought I would find myself in OZ again, but for some reason I have forgotten the lessons I learned a long time ago when I visited here when I was just a teen.

Now that I have become a mother,wife and career woman...I have become consumed by it. I no longer see the rainbows or the bluebirds...these things always made me happy. Hunk, Zeke, Hickory dismiss the way I am feeling with a simple, "It's just a phase or Come on, kid...just get over it!" This new Toto has become more of a problem than the old Toto was and Toto was the cause of my last trip to OZ, ya know. Maybe my problem is these dogs.

I don't know what this trip will entail, but I know that I will be looking up the Scarecrow, Tin man and Lion...maybe they can help me find my brain, heart and courage. Bumped into the Good Witch of North when I first arrived and she gave me the same pair shoes. Can't remember for the the life of me, why I needed those shoes...so, I am off to see the Wizard again...maybe he will be able to tell me how my life got to be such a mess or is it a mess?...I am so confused.

Got to go...those Flying Monkeys you mentioned in your letter are circling overhead, which means the Wicked Witch is nearby. Getting a bit "home"sick...but I just don't know what "home" is anymore.

Your Loving niece,

Dorothy

To everyone who is reading this:

Devon's writing here is absolutely wonderful...he has caught the concept of what I do, but before there is any misunderstanding...I want to clarify that I (Amy Harden) am not Dorothy...I once was a Dorothy, but I am no longer...I have been called by a higher power to lift women and men up and out of The Dorothy Syndrome. I am putting the finishing touches on a book dealing with this subject and coach women and men who are on the Yellow Brick Road who are dealing with Dorothy's in their lives. As I network across the internet at all the social networks for women, I don't believe I see many Dorothy's among the women blogging, connecting and creating business ; all of them are wearing their ruby slippers and clicking them on a daily basis. My mission is to help those women that they can't reach yet. Dorothy is not ready for positive, uplifting, motivated. These women can't even think straight, they are confused , frustrated, depressed: barely able to get out of the bed on a daily basis.

I try to prepare them for these empowered ladies...so they will receive their messages and help...not dismiss them as another "Rah!-Rah!" Mid-lifer. Please ladies don't take this as an insult...it really isn't...it is just the way it is...there are women out there that are ready to hear you and then there are others that hate you for being so positive about life,your journey and mission. They are envious and jealous sometimes...they want what you have...they just don't know how to get out of the bed, out of the monotony of their lives to get. It is a bare bones, baby step process...time is what they need and most when you tell them what they need to do...they don't believe you, let alone have the energy to do it....thus you have "The Dorothy Syndrome". So, I travel with these ladies and men, helping them avoid the Flying Monkeys, leading them through the woods and the Poppy Field...slaying the Wicked Witch, not depending on the Wiz for answers. When Dorothy realizes it is really all up to her...she is ready to listen to you and follow your direction. I promise!

NEW Women In MLC: The Dorothy Syndrome Forum

What the heck is the Dorothy Syndrome and what does it have to do with mid-life crisis?

Well, it has everything to do with MLC! The Dorothy Syndrome is a phrase that I coined and is the premise for my upcoming book titled "The Dorothy Syndrome: Mid-life on the Yellow Brick Road". While coaching at another web site forum, I started using the metaphors used in one of my favorite stories and movies..."The Wizard of OZ". I was astonished at how easily I could use the dialog from the movie or premise of the story to describe the transitions, emotions, the typical experiences that occur during an MLC, whether it be for the woman or the man. The forum members could easily understand the correlations and even began using the same analogies that I had started in my discussions.

As a preliminary promotion of my upcoming book I have created a forum for both women and men to come discuss, receive encouragement and guidance on MLC. I will be continuing my dialog using the Dorothy Syndrome metaphor/analogy. The forum for the women is primarily for women who are experiencing the crisis themselves, not necessarily for women who are dealing with their husbands who are in MLC, while the men's side is for husbands dealing with a wife in MLC. This forum is a safe haven for the women and learning ground for the men. It has been only recently that women in MLC has been acknowledge as a true experience that we go through. In fact the degree of MLC that women experience is STILL downplayed or brushed off as something that the woman will just get over or will end when they're finished going through menopause. Do not kid yourself...this is real...it can get very bad...it has many causes and triggers...it doesn't miraculously go away. Many families are being torn apart by this new phenomena....BUT...there is hope...in the knowledge and understanding of the what I call the MLC tornado, the process that each MLCer MUST go through to discover that they have always had the power to go "home".

Come join me at www.womeninmlc.lefora.com/forum/ and discover what you can do to avoid the pitfalls of having the Dorothy Syndrome or if you are living with a Dorothy...discover what you need to do to keep the Flying monkeys at bay. Even if you are not experiencing this phenomena...learn about the syndrome...keep your eye out for the signs...be amazed at how common it is today...send the link to a friend who may be in need of our counsel.

Believe me when I tell you...a person who is in MLC must travel the Yellow Brick Road to discover their brain, heart and courage...you can not tell them these things...they wouldn't believe you anyways.

Please join us!

Before the Tornado of MidLife Crisis Hits!

This is from the women's perspective only...what is going on in her brain and how her body reacts...it may be different for some and this occurs over time...not in a day:

When my children were young...two in diapers, one in pull-ups, one barely potty trained, one very clingy...my days were long and hard...one of my children or several of my children climbing on me, being carried, held, bottle fed...it seemed like all day long someone or something was touching me or wanted me to touch them. By the end of the day, I was exhausted...every tiny nerve under my skin was on hyper-drive...I could feel the electricity of it at times to the point of overload. Combine this with the emotions that you must feel and calibrate all day long...it was no wonder when my H came home and wanted a hug or God forbid wanted to intimate...his touch downright hurt or made the electric feeling underneath my skin streak through my body like electric shock. It was horrible. It was tiring...my H just didn't understand it. My sense of touch and being touched was way over stimulated....sexy this feeling did not make me. My only escape was sleep and even in sleep I could not be touched...forget sleeping like spoons, hugging, wrapped around one another...if my H touched me by accident while sleeping, I would bolt awake like I had hit by lightening.

As the years went by, this feeling changed...it turned in to numbness...my brain shut down when I was touched...in an effort to protect myself from the intense reactions...I started to not have any reaction to anything, physically or mentally...I flat lined...it was like my nervous system was broken from over use. I couldn't control it...my body was taking over just like when I was pregnant...you just have to go with it, you think. No matter how I tried I couldn't react...the fog...the numbness continued to set in...it was just like the main switch on my electrical board had switched in to the permanent "off" position...I just couldn't jump start myself and if I tried I immediately went in to overload again and I would crash in to numbness again. No matter how you look at it your whole body and emotions are out of whack...there is no escaping it and soon you grow tired of being tired and being in the "off" position...you feel like you are dieing a slow death from the inside out. You can't fight it anymore...you give in....OR maybe just maybe, if you could get away from what you believe is causing it. Yes, "flying" is a good answer...when you leave the house alone...the numbness slightly subsides...if you go to a room alone...the fog slightly lifts...when you are with others that don't expect anything from you or know nothing about you...you can be the person you dream of being without the fog, the numbness...most of all you can "breath". That is really all you want at this point...is to "breath"....to stand still for a very long time, doing nothing and just breathing. In doing this you can convince yourself that you are still alive... you are not lost...you are in here in each moment...not moving forward or backward...you just ARE!

BUT...this is not reality...life bombards you...as hard as you try to stand and just "be"...you feel attacked from all sides...draining the itty-bitty drops of strength or energy you regained while you had removed yourself from what you believe is sucking you drier than a desert. Leaving for short periods of time or escaping to your bedroom with door closed doesn't cut it anymore...you remove yourself completely! You make the decision to leave or you start evaluating who or what is the primary thing or person that causing you to feel like you do. Even though the kids do add to your present state...life is much easier when your H is not present...with his presence gone, maybe you could regain your life and he can take care of himself...he's an adult.

All you want is the numbness to go away...the fog to lift...you grow desperate...you have to do something or die!

Stay tuned...more to come...

If you are experiencing or anything you have read sounds familiar to you and you have a sneaking suspicion that you may be in Mid Life Crisis (MLC), please feel free to contact me here at my blog. I would be more than happy to direct you to the best places to receive encouragement or even take you on as a coaching client.

OMG...Botox Will Suck Out Your Brain Cells Too!

Botox rat study shows toxins migrate to the brain

By Simon Pitman

"04/04/2008- A new scientific study on rats suggests that the anti-wrinkle treatment Botox may be able to move from the skin into the brain, degrading proteins and acting on nerves."

Botox...no, thank you...I am not putting poison in to my face to get rid of my wrinkles. Not only does Priscilla Presley look bad...look at Joan Rivers...Cher looks like she is wearing a mask now too! What's up with all those puffy, "I'm having an allergic reaction" lips, anyways?

Forget about the way it makes you look...now you're telling me that it is going to effect my brain...Good heavens...my children have already sucked half my brain cells out of my head...now if I try Botox...the remaining cells will be damaged too. If I'm going to be sitting here hunched over and drooling with no brain cells left...
NAH!I don't think so...by God...I better be looking great!...but what's the point of looking great and not being able to have facial expressions or enough brain matter to even coax a smile?

Luckily, I have been blessed so far with oily skin...too much oil really...but long ago I was told to "Embrace the oil, my dear...it is a blessing, not a curse."

My anti-aging mantra: "Ohm! Embrace the oil, Amy, Embrace the oil."

Then, exfoliate, moisturize, moisturize, moisturize...eat well (low-carb diet optimal), facial and neck exercises, along with full body exercise, increased water intake, limited drinking of alcohol and caffeine, limited sun exposure and making sure I get anti-oxidant supplements through vitamins and drinking 2 oz. minimum of MonaVie daily. A good facial every two months or so by a professional also doesn't hurt. Detox is probably the best thing you can do for your skin....eat L Active cheese and yogurt...keep your lower tract clean and moving. Try The Perricone Prescription...it does work. His products are very expensive, but worth a try. Your choice of make-up and skin regimen is primary...don't cut corners with cheap make-up and products...but at the same time you don't have to break the bank to get what you need. I have been using the "Boots - Botanical" line from Target with great results. Natural and minimal will go a long way.

Oh, I forgot…one very important thing to do…Laugh…laugh a lot! A rich, warm, hearty laugh and smile will do the trick every time…it’s part of the beauty plan that works from the inside out.

Sounds like a lot of work….but I can still smile, my forehead still moves and my eyes don’t have that continual surprised look about them.

Holistic and natural is the way to go…and then you just have to embrace the wrinkles when they have won…in the end you have probably earned every single one of them.

*Please see my Top Picks for Today for links to the books and products I

recommend.

**If you would like more information on MonaVie, please go to the following link:

http://www.mymonavie.com/awomanofelegance

MidLife Crazies

What Does Red Lights, Sexy Clothing and Disrespectful Kids have in Common?

Recently, I asked a group of women what three things drive them absolutely crazy?
A member wrote::

“Women who are in their 40s who dress like they are 18. You can dress stylish without showing all. I bowl with one lady who is always cold. I told my husband if she would not wear jeans with holes as big as she was, and “trying” to dress so sexy, she would not be cold in the bowling alley.

Kids who are rude, thinking they are the only person on the planet. Do they act this way in front of their parents? They have no respect for older people.

People who have to be the first person at the red light. I worked with a lady many years ago and she admitted that during PMS days, she would KILL to be first at the red light. Haha! If you want to drive crazy, become a race car driver. "

I agree with her about the lady’s who dip into their teenage daughter's closet to pull together their wardrobe. Sexy doesn’t have to mean scantily clad...in fact, I wrote an article a few years ago where I interviewed several men where the majority told me that this was indeed true. Men preferred a woman who was dressed in clothing that left a bit of mystery, feminine, not over done...classy. But why do these women chose to let God and everyone see what they have been blessed with?

Women who dress too young for their age are possibly displaying one of the many signs or clues that she is going through a Mid-life Crisis...especially if her dress prior to her turning 40 or the MLC was more covered up, classy or suitable. If she has always dressed like this...then you can just write it off to ignorance, bad taste or her need to be the center of male attention for all the wrong reasons...feel sorry for this gal...she is probably dealing with a lot more deep down underneath than what little she is wearing AND there is probably a lot more holes she needs to fill other than the ones that in her jeans.

As for kids who are rude and disrespectful... the fact is that as parents we are left with little to do to discipline our children nowadays...sitting in time out or "the naughty spot" just doesn't seem to cut it after a child turns 13 years old. By the time a child has reached this age think of all the many televisions shows and cartoons that they have watched with sassy mouthed, disrespectful children in them. Our young ones tend to mimic these children and we tend to perpetuate it by thinking it is cute...then we wonder why they talk to us like this when they get older....Well, we have taught them to talk to us this way and not nipped the disrespectful tones and quips in the bud long ago when they first started using it to get attention or get a laugh out us.

I also believe the fact that as a nation we no longer live in multi-generational homes and many families are broken due to divorce or they are scattered across the country. When families were made up of children, parents and grandparents all with in the same house or within the same vicinity of each other...children were taught by their elders to respect them. Also, we no longer allow others, whether it is our neighbors or friends, to insist that our children be respectful, let alone discipline them. Back when I was growing up, it was an unspoken rule in our neighborhood that any mother on the block had the right to discipline any child, if they were caught being disrespectful or doing bad things. Today, you run the risk of a huge confrontation which may even include a lawsuit or the police being called. (This did happen to one of my friends) Many of our children are not held accountable for their actions within the home and definitely, not outside of the home.

I have told my children that if they are out of line that anyone can call them on their misbehavior. Also, they had better give me something to stand-on if they want me to go to bat for them if they believe they have been unjustly accused. I will not lie or defend them if indeed they have been disrespectful or done wrong. I have been amazed by how many mothers AND fathers will defend their kid to the death, even when the kid is so openly wrong. This is a disservice to the child and to all the rest of us who have to deal with kid in the future.

As for being the first person at the red light…being number one has been the chant of our nation for many years now. It is in our blood…it’s the reason behind why we get out of bed each day. We are striving for bigger, better…the best. What makes anyone think that this attitude hasn’t finally sunk all the way down to the most inconsequential things in life…like being first at the red light? Anyways, why let it bother you? By all means, let the speed demon, overly competitive nut-job have the first position at the white line or do you not like the fact that person just got the number one position?

So, what is the common thread in these three things? Well, it is the fact that we no longer know how to deal with the changes in our more open and passive/aggressive society. We act out, give in and do anything to be number one…even in the smallest of circumstances….it can just about drive a person crazy.

Glamour Shots and the MidLife Crazies

Recently my Stumble Upon blog was reviewed by a young man of 32 years who must have issues with either his wife, his ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or mother.

Out of no where...this guy not only slams my picture that I use for an avatar..tagging it as a "glamour shot" and searches through all my blog posts to find the one misspelling I had...to then tell me that I shouldn't criticize other people's copy, if I can't even spell correctly.

Okay...so first, I am hurt overall that I have received a red thumbs down in amongst all the other green thumbs up that I have received in the short time that I have been stumbling.

Second....Glamour Shot...who the heck does this guy think he is criticizing my picture...Glamour Shot ... indeed! Oh, wait...it is sort of a "glamour shot"....but heck...I had this picture taken back on my birthday to celebrate the fact that for a 50-year old wife and mother of five children...I still could rock with the best of them...if Christie Brinkley can do it...well, by gosh, so can I!

This gentleman...and I use this term loosely...sent me flying off into a mid-life crazies moment...
I mean...I still look pretty darn good for not having more than six hours of sleep a day in 20 odd years; my butt being perpetually flat from driving my kids here and yon; a small muffin top that the fitness instructor at the YMCA told me I'd never lose because of bearing five children, along with rapidly greying hair that my genius of a hairstylist has hidden with lovely blond highlights (I am really a brunette) and that my genes have blessed me with oily skin, which a Mary Kay lady long ago told me in a honey-sweet southern drawl: "Hon...your oily skin is a blessing not a curse...it's God's natural retinol...embrace the oil."

Yeah...right! Still...I am "embracing the oil"!

I have to admit this guy hit me in two of my sore spots; copy editing and where I am on this journey in my second adulthood.

I am a fanatic about copy editing and misspellings...I wear out my spell checker and my dictionary is dogeared. How could I have missed that "alot" is not spelled "allott"...oh, wait...my spellchecker told me that I had misspelled it. (Actually, the Blogger spell checker says that both of these words are spelled wrong.)

Lesson learned...don't trust your spell checker...look it up instead...Webster's isn't out of business yet!

But let's get back to the "Glamour Shots" issue...Why do woman feel the need or want to go and have their pictures taken like this...AND...why do you suppose that a person would not like seeing pictures in this style?

IMHO, I believe that women of all ages want to capture their elegance and beauty for one brief shining moment on film...especially if they spend most of their days running around with their hair barely combed; lucky to have their face washed and the scent of the day is eau de "Soft-n-Dri" and the uniform of the day is the newest line of women's sweats and athletic shoes from our boutique of choice...Targ`et.

Women always justify a "Glamour Shot" with..."I'm having my picture taken for my husband...it's our anniversary (his birthday, Father's day, Christmas, Valentine's Day)...ya know...he's always wanted pictures like this"...Wink, wink.

If you believe this statement, well...I own some land in Florida you might want to look at....

The main reason we get these pictures taken is to prove to ourselves that indeed we are beautiful...that our lives haven't sucked us totally dry...there is still hope...all is NOT lost AND if it is...then by God, at least we had our picture taken when we could still put the glamour in to the shot.

Let's admit it ladies...we have "Glamour Shots" taken for ourselves! WE want them...we want to look at them...we want to keep them for posterity's sake. They allow us to step out of the box. They are a reminder that we are still beautiful, alluring, sexy...we are not trapped in our wife, mommy, sister, daughter roles....we discover our power...we are women first!

We make an elegant statement!

We don't care what people think....which brings me back to our Glamour Shot critic....

You know what...I don't really care what he thinks about my picture...I didn't have it taken for him....I did have it taken for my hubby...but most of all for me. The time was right...I seized the day...and there I am in all my glory...a lot is being said in that one picture.


FYI: Merriam-Webster's Dictionary On-line: For the definition and usage of the term "alot" please go to the following link:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alot

Photos courtesy of Kaiser Custom Images: http://www.kaisercustomimages.com/

Am I Becoming Too Cynical or Bitter?

See the woman to the right....this is the woman that I fear I am becoming...OMG...please don't let this be!!

Since turning 50 years old, I have become more opinionated, less patient, frustrated with the world-at-large....everything seems to rub me the wrong way or will get a rise out of me...and don't forget to add in the new experience of having hot flashes at the most inconvenient of times. Coming of age, yet again, has been just as trying for me as embarking on my teenage years back in the 70's. I struggled then, as I struggle now with all the many changes in my body, in my mind and in the world that revolves around me!

Oprah wants me to find my purpose, while "giving BIG"; The Secret wants me to have a vision and reach for the stars; along with all the many second adulthood books for women out there who want me to jump out of airplanes, climb Mount Everest or give up my career and pursue the one dream I have always held near and dear to my heart....this usually involves wine tasting in France or Napa or renovating an old Victorian home as a Bed and Breakfast. I am supposed to do this while doing Pilate's or yoga fives days out of the week, watching my carbs and eating Omega-3/Antioxidant filled meals, plying my face and body with over priced natural creams and exlirs...ensuring I get eight hours of sleep...all in the pursuit of making sure that my eyes won't puff, my rear end won't drag and my muffin top (a residual from bearing my five children) will not hang over the top of the low-rise jeans that I am forced to purchase because no one carries a jean that covers a muffin top any more that doesn't look like pants that my 80 year old mother would wear.(WHEW!)!

Don't even get me started on plastic surgery, Botox and boob-jobs! My boobs are just fine, thank you very much!!

Do most people really have the extra pocket change to invest in all of this junk? Even though I do have extra money, these things are not what I want my money going toward just because the new way of keeping up with the Jone's is not only having the $800,000 and up custom built home, but being custom built ourselves...this is what will get us through the second half of our lives...Yes, indeed. It is all so temporary...all so material....superficial.!

Somehow I believe we are missing something here. In our effort to find our purpose and discover "the secret", we have raised the bar on ourselves yet again. We no longer view life experience and growth, knowledge and understanding as a priceless commodity...age and wisdom are dismissed. We will risk anything and everything to have what Mr and Mrs. Jones2008 has gotten for themselves. (Here's a Secret: Mr. and Mrs. Jones is in just as much debt, having the same trouble with their kids, is just as unhappy, if not more than most folks in the neighborhood...don't let Mr. Jones's sport car in the drive or Mrs. Jone's botox filled forehead & boob job fool ya!)!

We wrap our lives around celebrity, wanting to look, act and live like people we are not. Women have lost their elegance trying to look like they've walked out of the pages of a magazine, while men fear that being of noble character will some how offend the many women AND men in their lives...in the end men have been put in the position of being doormats.!

Simplicity is no longer simple...there is even a proper media dictated method of going about this also. Even in today's society trying to keep your life easy going, calm, uncomplicated...simple is work.
!

Now I ask you my friends...if all this be true...is there any wonder on most days that I worry that I will one day end up looking like the lady above? Maybe a good airplane jump or a trek up a mountain would do me some good....maybe a pinch of Botox in the corners of my mouth to force a smile.............NAH!!!!!!!

Small Pearls of Wisdom: Positive Attraction/Intention

I have been trying to work out my brand, writing a book, writing a column at Fabulously40, encouraging men and women at Path Partners, trying to get my own web site created and running.

In much of this effort of trying to fulfill my goals, reaching and hoping for the vision I had placed on my Vision Board over a year ago...I have slowly come to realize that none of this happens as quickly as one might think that it will...this is yet another 'secret' to the "The Secret".

On a daily basis I still struggle with 'reclaiming my womanhood"...my family and children eat up my time...I am constantly putting out fires. paying bills, contacting the workman that didn't quite do his job to the best of his ability, not seeing the nuance in the school's rules and regulations on attendance and tardiness...realizing that after all this time I should have been making carbon-copies of the notes I write to my kid's school. I find it hard on some days to utilize the power of positive attraction...when being bombarded by the negative forces of daily life.

And then, I realize this thing called life is really truly work .

I may struggle at it every day...it may be weighing me down at times...but in the end it MUST be done.

A lovely lady that I know through Facebook sent me this today:

"You must avoid breaking when things don't go your way.You'll always be secure to the degree that you accept change.True security comes from being able to bend your insecurities.Recognize and accept that change will inevitably take place.You'll become secure, not by standing still, but by growing,moving, and staying energized.Be secure in the knowledge that you can deal with anythingthat happens to you.Have the courage to bet on your ideas.Take some calculated risks and act on your dreams.There is no permanent security on this earth, there is only opportunity." JoAnn Donahue

I think in this moment of being burned out by the fires of my daily life, I will flood my thoughts with the wisdom of the hope that is held within these words from this extremely positive ray of sunshine.

Thank you, JoAnn.

I hope that maybe someone out in cyber-space receives this cyber hot flash and it moves them through yet another day...filling it with positive attraction and blessings.

USA Today- Middle-Age Article No New News

"USA Today - "Middle-Age is truly depressing, study finds"

Duh! Okay...tell us something we don't already know and then don't tell us why this is the trend! Skim the surface of the subject and then have every news outlet from ABC's Good Morning America to the Evening News trot out all the middle aged Pollyanna's that have reached or are in Mid-Life "Nirvana". Give me a break!

I guess we will have to wait for the report to come out in the journal of Social Science and Medicine...but even then I am wondering if this research was too broad, not taking in to consideration cultural factors and various other indicators, let alone that they grouped men and women together...or did they?....they didn't tell us...now did they.

Let's just take the fact that the research study included people in 80 different countries, from Albania to Zimbabwe. WHAT?!!! I can't relate to this! Where does the U.S. fall in between these countries? Then they tell us that only 72 countries showed this "U-shaped pattern". Which countries showed this and did the U.S. fall into this grouping? What countries didn't have a "U-shaped pattern"? I don't know...do you?!

But we are supposed to remain calm...relax...accept what this study is showing...read the story...watch the news...take a collective sigh of relief as we realize that everyone who is entering into their 40s are depressed...it is out of their hands...just go with it....take your anti-depressant...it will all be over by your 50Th birthday! YEAH...RIGHT!

Excuse me, while I get into a lotus position...repeat my mantra and become one with the universe...

Who are these people kidding? Mid-Life is much more complex than this study is revealing...at least at this point.