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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Am I Becoming Too Cynical or Bitter?

See the woman to the right....this is the woman that I fear I am becoming...OMG...please don't let this be!!



Since turning 50 years old, I have become more opinionated, less patient, frustrated with the world-at-large....everything seems to rub me the wrong way or will get a rise out of me...and don't forget to add in the new experience of having hot flashes at the most inconvenient of times. Coming of age, yet again, has been just as trying for me as embarking on my teenage years back in the 70's. I struggled then, as I struggle now with all the many changes in my body, in my mind and in the world that revolves around me!



Oprah wants me to find my purpose, while "giving BIG"; The Secret wants me to have a vision and reach for the stars; along with all the many second adulthood books for women out there who want me to jump out of airplanes, climb Mount Everest or give up my career and pursue the one dream I have always held near and dear to my heart....this usually involves wine tasting in France or Napa or renovating an old Victorian home as a Bed and Breakfast. I am supposed to do this while doing Pilate's or yoga fives days out of the week, watching my carbs and eating Omega-3/Antioxidant filled meals, plying my face and body with over priced natural creams and exlirs...ensuring I get eight hours of sleep...all in the pursuit of making sure that my eyes won't puff, my rear end won't drag and my muffin top (a residual from bearing my five children) will not hang over the top of the low-rise jeans that I am forced to purchase because no one carries a jean that covers a muffin top any more that doesn't look like pants that my 80 year old mother would wear.(WHEW!)!



Don't even get me started on plastic surgery, Botox and boob-jobs! My boobs are just fine, thank you very much!!



Do most people really have the extra pocket change to invest in all of this junk? Even though I do have extra money, these things are not what I want my money going toward just because the new way of keeping up with the Jone's is not only having the $800,000 and up custom built home, but being custom built ourselves...this is what will get us through the second half of our lives...Yes, indeed. It is all so temporary...all so material....superficial.!



Somehow I believe we are missing something here. In our effort to find our purpose and discover "the secret", we have raised the bar on ourselves yet again. We no longer view life experience and growth, knowledge and understanding as a priceless commodity...age and wisdom are dismissed. We will risk anything and everything to have what Mr and Mrs. Jones2008 has gotten for themselves. (Here's a Secret: Mr. and Mrs. Jones is in just as much debt, having the same trouble with their kids, is just as unhappy, if not more than most folks in the neighborhood...don't let Mr. Jones's sport car in the drive or Mrs. Jone's botox filled forehead & boob job fool ya!)!



We wrap our lives around celebrity, wanting to look, act and live like people we are not. Women have lost their elegance trying to look like they've walked out of the pages of a magazine, while men fear that being of noble character will some how offend the many women AND men in their lives...in the end men have been put in the position of being doormats.!



Simplicity is no longer simple...there is even a proper media dictated method of going about this also. Even in today's society trying to keep your life easy going, calm, uncomplicated...simple is work.
!


Now I ask you my friends...if all this be true...is there any wonder on most days that I worry that I will one day end up looking like the lady above? Maybe a good airplane jump or a trek up a mountain would do me some good....maybe a pinch of Botox in the corners of my mouth to force a smile.............NAH!!!!!!!

6 comments:

Pablo said...

The effects of a woman who has not had a man's boot in her ass are disastrous.
It is not the fault of women. Men have completely abandonded hemanhood and have become metrosexuals, homosexuals and a bunch of pusses. The flicker of hope is all the real men are not extinct; there are a few tough guys left.
There other day, I kicked this guys ass at the local walmart because I heard him backtalking his mother. Nobody stopped me from bitch slapping the punk because all the men around had their tails between their legs. You can't fight with your tail between your legs. The only thing you can do is squat to pee. I seen them guys do it. It's awful.
The only ones that raised a stink were a couple of lesbians who backed down when I growled at them. I gave his mom my number to call me if he got out of hand again, but she just calls to go out. We have a great time. She says it's the first time in years shes worn a dress and highheels. (she is like a lot of women; they have some damn nice legs and girl hips, but hide them in pants) I think she has even gotten prettier since we've been going to the blues club, and dinner sometimes.
I liked the way she giggled when she told me a guy was looking at her and I went and cuffed him.
If you women ever see a tough guy, don't criticize him, run and throw on a skirt, some perfume, lipstick, and higheels, and hang on, you're in for a ride.

LN- Nickers and Ink said...

Loved this.

You might find commiseration in my recent post: TIME MACHINE at Nickers and Ink.

Blessings,
Linda

Amy L. Harden said...

Pablo:
I was hesitant in publishing your your comment(due to language used)...but decided that indeed you should be allowed to have your own "cyber hot flash" on this subject.

With that said...I MUST comment on your comment.

When I state in my blog that men need to return or regain their nobility...by no means...do I mean they need to turn into bad @$$es! There is a distinct difference between being a bully/bad @$$ and a man who rescues a women from a bad situation. Your discription of what happened with this woman and her son was probably needed...too many teens/children show great disrespect toward their parents nowadays...BUT...your actions were not of "knight in shining armor" caliber...or noble...more like a caveman's mentality. You ended up taking your lady in distress out on dates...AND then kicked the butt of anyone who looked at her! What's up with that?
A man of noble character would help and then leave the scene knowing that they had done a good deed...not exchange numbers or see the circumstances as a way of picking up chicks.
The woman you discribe sounds like a woman who has been beaten down by her life, children...her situation...low self-esteem...probably in mid-life crisis. Her sudden changes in look...putting make-up, dressing better...calling attention to herself is part of the transition that occurs at midlife.

Don't pat yourself on the back too hard...if it wasn't you that re-lit her pilot light it would have been some other man who directed his attention her way.

Your actions/reactions with this woman DO NOT resemble the nobility of a man...they reek of old school machismo! Women tire of that very quickly...continue in this manner and this woman will be history before long....the last thing this woman needs is boot in her @$$!

Pablo said...

Dear Mrs. Harden,

So here is the rest of the story:

After a while of having a few laughs and torquing of attitudes, someone else finally saw her for the woman she truly was. Not because of the make-up or cheap trinkets she wore, when a man started protecting her, she was able to let that real beauty come out. It is the beauty that is smashed by cruel people, people who are seen as oh so respectful of others and nice, but who quietly cut people like her to little pieces, without any mercy.
After a proper courtship, they married. A proper courtship is one where two people take time to discover whether or not the way each knows, loves, and serves the Lord is compatible. It is not one where a man and woman engage in sex, all the while sinning, and call it love. Sex is used to procreate, that those souls may replace the fallen angels in Heaven. That it is a pleasure, is a gift from God.Her man goes to work, she takes care of children at home that would be left to nurseries otherwise, and instructs these children in the Faith.Their parents are very pleased at the change in their children. She no longer takes the medication for depression she took for twelve years. Her husband and I sometimes have some beers together, and enjoy some tobacco.

Her son finally dropped the sissy mode, and started behaving as a man should. He is now a Union Steamfitter, and a leader of men, who has authority because God gave it to him. God does not grant authority to sissies. Do you think David was a sissy, when he whacked Goliath, or 12 year old Daniel when he stood up for Susanna at her trial?

Women are having to make do. They are excelling far more than men in the fields they choose. It is not hard to replace a modern man. There are macho men left, and they are all busy. There is much that needs to be done. The children of darkness toil much harder than the children of light. They aggressively pursue that which they love, and stay away from that which they hate. The children of light embrace that which God dislikes, and they are a stiff necked people; if God leaves them alone for a moment, they build golden calves, so to speak. There are only a few good people left.
I am glad I caught your attention with my previous comments. In overviewing your blogs, you seem to be very decent people. Abraham would be pleased to know there are that many of you left; that God withholds his hand from chastisement of the rest of us.

Not wanting to be long winded, I do need to give you a definition of the Mexican word macho. It has no English translation.

A man becomes macho when he loves Christ. He attends Mass faithfully, and prays privately, that God's mercy be upon those most in need. He gives aid and comfort to the widows and orphans, and steps up to the plate without concern for his own personal welfare.
His only opinions are based on what God has said, through Holy Scripture. Women, children, and animals love to be around him.

And the final test of machismo:

He loves his Mother.

The only thing patting myself on the back gets me is a sore arm. Thank you for reminding me humility is a Virtue.

pablo

Amy L. Harden said...

Pablo:
I want to thank you for responding and especially for giving me a cultural explanation of what machismo is from a Mexican point of view.

You have touched on two different things that did not come out in your first post on the nobility of a man...a Christian viewpoint and a cultural one.

You said:

"I do need to give you a definition of the Mexican word macho. It has no English translation.

A man becomes macho when he loves Christ. He attends Mass faithfully, and prays privately, that God's mercy be upon those most in need. He gives aid and comfort to the widows and orphans, and steps up to the plate without concern for his own personal welfare.
His only opinions are based on what God has said, through Holy Scripture. Women, children, and animals love to be around him.

And the final test of machismo:

He loves his Mother."

I would not necessarily say that what you outlined in your post as lost in American men...it is just very well hidden, repressed.

As a moderator for a web site forum that has many spouses of women who are going through mid-life, I am amazed at how we have actually convince men not to be doormats in the face of all the bad behavior that their wives are handing to them. Many men want to be the heads/leaders of their households..setting boundaries and dealbreakers for their spouse...but are unable to or won't for fear of losing their wife's love.

This is a very difficult and complex subject with many moving parts...the causes and the effects of what has happened to women and men can be traced to elements in the society, the breakdown of the family, divorce, lack of morals and values, cultural influences, along with religious trends...even the way we communicate with one another has changed. We have lost the importance of truth, honor, respect, wisdom and fidelity. These are strong characteristics of not only a man...but women must hold them near and dear also.

I think you and I hold many of the same views on this subject...your second post has convinced me of this...thank you for responding again.

God Bless!

Amy

Numbers 6: 24-26

LadyBanana said...

It is definitely an age thing.. I also find myself becoming extremely opinionated with stuff that didn't bother me in the least a few years ago.

I'm happy however with myself as I am not and never will be one of those keep up with the Jones'.

I don't have a lot of money to spend and I do live a modest life. The most important thing to me is the health of myself and family not the wealth.

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