Sunday, July 6, 2008

Before the Tornado of MidLife Crisis Hits!

This is from the women's perspective only...what is going on in her brain and how her body may be different for some and this occurs over time...not in a day:

When my children were young...two in diapers, one in pull-ups, one barely potty trained, one very days were long and of my children or several of my children climbing on me, being carried, held, bottle seemed like all day long someone or something was touching me or wanted me to touch them. By the end of the day, I was exhausted...every tiny nerve under my skin was on hyper-drive...I could feel the electricity of it at times to the point of overload. Combine this with the emotions that you must feel and calibrate all day was no wonder when my H came home and wanted a hug or God forbid wanted to intimate...his touch downright hurt or made the electric feeling underneath my skin streak through my body like electric shock. It was horrible. It was H just didn't understand it. My sense of touch and being touched was way over this feeling did not make me. My only escape was sleep and even in sleep I could not be touched...forget sleeping like spoons, hugging, wrapped around one another...if my H touched me by accident while sleeping, I would bolt awake like I had hit by lightening.

As the years went by, this feeling turned in to brain shut down when I was an effort to protect myself from the intense reactions...I started to not have any reaction to anything, physically or mentally...I flat was like my nervous system was broken from over use. I couldn't control body was taking over just like when I was just have to go with it, you think. No matter how I tried I couldn't react...the fog...the numbness continued to set was just like the main switch on my electrical board had switched in to the permanent "off" position...I just couldn't jump start myself and if I tried I immediately went in to overload again and I would crash in to numbness again. No matter how you look at it your whole body and emotions are out of whack...there is no escaping it and soon you grow tired of being tired and being in the "off" feel like you are dieing a slow death from the inside out. You can't fight it give in....OR maybe just maybe, if you could get away from what you believe is causing it. Yes, "flying" is a good answer...when you leave the house alone...the numbness slightly subsides...if you go to a room alone...the fog slightly lifts...when you are with others that don't expect anything from you or know nothing about can be the person you dream of being without the fog, the numbness...most of all you can "breath". That is really all you want at this to "breath" stand still for a very long time, doing nothing and just breathing. In doing this you can convince yourself that you are still alive... you are not are in here in each moment...not moving forward or just ARE!

BUT...this is not bombards hard as you try to stand and just "be" feel attacked from all sides...draining the itty-bitty drops of strength or energy you regained while you had removed yourself from what you believe is sucking you drier than a desert. Leaving for short periods of time or escaping to your bedroom with door closed doesn't cut it remove yourself completely! You make the decision to leave or you start evaluating who or what is the primary thing or person that causing you to feel like you do. Even though the kids do add to your present is much easier when your H is not present...with his presence gone, maybe you could regain your life and he can take care of himself...he's an adult.

All you want is the numbness to go away...the fog to grow have to do something or die!

Stay tuned...more to come...

If you are experiencing or anything you have read sounds familiar to you and you have a sneaking suspicion that you may be in Mid Life Crisis (MLC), please feel free to contact me here at my blog. I would be more than happy to direct you to the best places to receive encouragement or even take you on as a coaching client.


John said...

Wow. I am shocked. I never knew.

earthlingorgeous said...

WOW! Thanks for this preview of midlife. I am not there yet but this is really good information all men should read about it and understand. Thanks a lot for this info.

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